Why Quote Wilde?

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures"

Wilde Quote

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we generally dislike.

BOOKS
Bellwether, Connie Willis

The Crimson Petal & the White, M. Faber

The Red Tent, Anita Diamant

Gardens of the Moon, S. Erickson

His Dark Materials Trilogy, Philip Pullman

Witches, Druids and King Arthur, Ronald Hutton

Freakonomics, Levitt/Dubner

Anansi Boys, Neil Gaiman

The Virgin Blue, Tracy Chevalier

The Triumph of the Moon, Ronald Hutton

Einstein's Dreams, Alan Lightman

Bronwyn's Bane, E. A. Scarborough

Aromatherapy for Common Ailments, S. Price

Mood Enhancing Plants, C. Wildwood

Natural Healing: Practical ways to find Wellbeing and Inspiration, C. Wildwood

The Art of Traditional Thai Massage, Asokananda

Complete Guide to Reducing Stress, C. Wildwood

Aroma Remedies, Chrissie Wildwood

Aromatherapy: Scent and Psyche, Peter Damian

The Practice of Aromtherapy, Jean Valnet

The Art of Aromatherapy, Robert Tisserand

Medical Aromatherapy, Kurt Schnaubelt

Sunrise in the West, E. Pargeter

Encyclopedia of Healing Plants, C. Wildwood

Encyclopedia of Aromatherapy, C. Wildwood

Requiem, Graham Joyce


Smoking Poppy, Graham Joyce

Here be Dragons, Sharon Kay Penman

Aromatherapy & the Mind, J. Lawless

The Limits of Enchantment, Graham Joyce

The Healing Power of Aromatherapy, H. Walji

Earth Mother Herbal, S. De La Tour

Healing and the Mind, Bill Moyers

Stress: The Aromatic Solution, M. Tisserand

A Feast for Crows, George RR Martin

A Storm of Swords, George RR Martin

A Clash of Kings, George RR Martin

A Game of Thrones, George RR Martin

A Heartbreaking Work of..., David Eggers

On Beauty, Zadie Smith

The Case of the Cottingley Fairies, Joe Cooper

A Complicated Kindness, Miriam Toews

The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger

Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince, JK Rowling

The Jane Austen Book Club, Karen Joy Fowler


Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

Rainsongs of Katli, Tariq Malik

Rosa's District 6, Rozena Maart

The Last Light of the Sun, Guy Gavriel Kay

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell,Susanna Clark

The Well of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

The Five People you Meet in Heaven

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris

The Princes Of Ireland, Edward Rutherfurd

Lost Souls, Poppy Z. Brite

The Rule of Four, Thomason & Caldwell

Only Forward, Michael Marshall Smith

Wicked, Gregory Maguire

Lost in a Good Book, Jasper Fforde

Greetings from the Vodka Sea, Chris Gudgeon

The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde

Blinking With Fists, Billy Corgan

In This House are Many Women, Sheree Fitch

The Pursuit of Love, Nancy Mitford

Second Sight, George Szanto

The Underside of Stones, George Szanto

Blind Night, Cordelia Strube

Wild Animus, Rich Shapero

Cheorkee Bat & the Goat Guys, FL Block

Kissing the Witch, Emma Donoghue

Buckets of Moonbeams

Claire and I used to play Blood on the Tracks at work a lot.
Slow Sundays afternoons, crisp Autumn evenings....well, when ever we damn well felt like it.
We changed many of the lyrics.

You're going to make me loathsome when you go.....

Windmill Peacocks

The Dutch Dream
Ice Cream
Man
In his
Brightly Lit
Smiley Pants
Asks
Who is for the
Crepes-Suzettes?

I In my
Brightly Lit
Smiley Face
Reply
I Am for Them
They
Are for Me

What a pair
We shall make
I'll dine upon you
Every aspect of
Your Sweetness
Explored
Savoured
And adored

Dispersing to the
Brightly Lit
Corners of my
Smiley Soul

When
Has Love
Been
So Easy?

Dutch Dreams. It's a shroom trip for Teletubbies. Sleds on the ceilings and crazy windmill oil paintings. Imported Dutch sweets and tons and tons of ice cream any way you want it. Crazy I was with my sister-in-law and just wrote it after the smiling-chubby-love-man with the rainbow suspenders and red osh-koshs' split from our table. Not without making us fresh decadent crepes table side first. I wrote this ditty while gorging on berries and chocolate syrup and crepe and vanilla ice cream and gingersnaps. Ahhhh 1992...my sweetly remembered "Summer of Fatness" My sister in law and I couldn't keep our gullets away from the place. There are line-ups down the block in the summer time. I am back in that hood, but no longer eat ice cream. My ass thanks me.

NOR is it WALK

Sickgirl permanent here
Still trying to deal with ill
My sweet hobbity old doctor can squeeze me in next Wednesday
It's too bad that I thought I was going to her office last night. Wrong Wednesday
Having lost nine pounds in ten days
I think I'll just get checked out somewhere else

Not yet delerious
Ok, no more so than usual

Hey...It's snowing!.

Quick,
Everyone,
Forget how to drive

Toronto is slow in the snow

Here I present what seems to be a Blog staple:

100 Things About Me

1. I am a human being on the planet earth
2. Believe in the power of what one puts onto the ether
3. I have a thing for dragon flies
4. Believe that love really is all you need, the rest will follow
5. I choke on the smell of perfume, headaches and nausea ensue
6. Believe that I will be a straight backed old lady with crinkly happy eyes
7. I have a black and white picture of two women dressed up as Wonder Woman. I have had this (or copies of it) near me since I was 16. Yes, In my locker, on my desk at work, in my home. They look like mother and daughter.
8. I prefer the toilet paper roll to be flowing up and over, instead of down and under
9. I need time outdoors
10. I love to play with children
11. I miss my best friend who lives in a galaxy far, far away
12. I believe that some of the biggest lessons in your life to be learned are from family
13. I pee my pants when tickled
14. I tend to hit people hard when they tickle me even though they know I pee my pants
15. I allow my cat to tickle me with her whiske
16. I have a lot of stories involving me doing painfully silly things rs
17. I love the Beatles
18. I sleep on my side, hugging a pillow
19. I have an ingrown toenail, it is nasty
20. I would not change any of my physical characteristics, what I got is all mine
21. I believe in holistic living
22. I am a light cigarette smoker, shame, shame. I QUIT SMOKING!!
23. You are what you eat
24. I think that a lot of television rots the mind
25. I can sit in front of my computer for hours playing games
26. I don’t think you can change other people
27. I have floated from scene to scene (I came, I saw, I left)
28. When I want to learn something I go full speed and haven’t much patience for wasting time
29. I am a very good cook, when I cook
30. I am a fantastic baker for some reason, but do not have much of a sweet tooth
31. I do not eat of the pig (allergic) but bacon seems to have no ill effect. weird
32. I think milk is gross
33. I love cheese. St. Andre, Sage Derby, whatever, lay it on me
34. I like playing in snow, cross country skiier
35. I like yoga
36. I like to sing along to my favourite music, sometimes I dance as well
37. I hate caraway seeds
38. I am a shoe looker, I like to check out shoes
39. I don’t like wearing shoes
40. I have a woven Indonesian blanket that I bought on Dead Tour, it goes pretty much everywhere with me
41. Sitting down on the ground (earth) makes me very calm and refreshed
42. Is the answer to life, the universe and everything
43. I have a ring that a “white witch’ gave me when I was 14 that I wear almost every day
44. I believe that death is a divine energy transformation resulting in energetic redistribution of sorts
45. I read a lot
46. I am a crackpot, or maybe just open minded
47. I can see energy around people and colours too if I work at it – I don’t much
48. I always like to leave room enough to wiggle and/or giggle
49. I like to skate in men’s skates (which should have no room for wiggling)
50. I love to hear anyone playing acoustic guitar
51. I like being rained on (no this is not a personals ad)
52. I don’t like being lied to, and lie only insignificantly (like if someone is in the loo and they get a phonecall, I tell the caller something else…like that they are “busy”)
53. My boyfriend thinks I would be a fantastic lawyer. Yes, but then I'd be a lawyer.
54. I like all seasons, but prefer spring and fall
55. I think that if you can imagine something, it can happen
56. I believe that the universe will never throw anything at you that you can’t handle
57. Used to love “The Electric Company”
58. I believe that the universe will keep knocking you on your ass until you learn your lessons
59. I believe in the universal law of attraction
60. I appreciate these things in others: wit, brain, sincerity, open mindedness, animation, kindness
61. The physical characteristics of other people I most notice are: eyes, hands and smiles
62. I love to drive, especially if I get to play good music
63. I love to garden
64. I didn't feel comfortable with much of anything until my late 20's
65. I like to help feed and house the homeless. That’s part of what I’d do with my millions. Shelter.
66. Another part of my millions would go to saving endangered species and conservation areas
67. I’d commission a book “how to save the planet for dummies”
68. I have learned that you can’t Make Brains, but I do not always suffer fools gladly
69. I became a much happier person when I stopped judging myself harshly
70. I must not give if I can not receive
71. A soy latte sounds pretentious to me, but it’s one of my favourite treats
72. I believe you only live once – this time around
73. My nickname at summer camp was “Spaz”
74. Love the Frank Burns (MASH) quote “ it’s nice to be nice to the nice”
75. If I am having an excellent time, I resent anything interfering
76. I feel special and sometimes unfortunate for being romantic (yet pragmatic) in such a cynical world
77. I think that you can learn from everything
78. I met Ken Kesey and John Cusack
79. I can be very sarcastic at times, when I allow provocation
80. When I was in grade school, everyone in the class had to say what they wanted to be when they grew up. The only thing I could think of was “Happy.” It was not an acceptable answer.
81. I do not like berets
82. I didn’t discover wanking until I was 27
83. I just didn't "get" the Pythagorean Theorum until I was 25, duh.
84. I love waking up to a day full of possibilities, these are usually non-going-to-work days
85. I don’t believe in ‘casual’ relationships, though have often wished that I did
86. I had perfect attendance in grade school
87. I wear sparkles almost every day
88. I am getting noticeable “crow’s feet.” I smile too much :)
89. I dance like I earned my summer camp nickname (see #77)
90. My favourite number is 11
91. In a Tarot reading for me, The Star usually appears
92. I expect the unexpected
93. I am a Taurus
94. I think about enjoying every moment
95. I will yell at people for being mean, champion of the underdog
96. I can knit and crochet
97. I think that there is no such thing is perfect
98. I can’t stand shaving my armpits
99. I want to change the world one spaz out at a time
100. I kidnap rocks from places that I visit

All You need is love.
Come on, sing it with me.

Fine. Piss off then.

Office People: Wok Wok wokka wah?

Freakgirl: Yes, yes I am on my way to play Dungeons and Dragons

Office People: Wokka Wokk Wokkkkkk...?

Freakgirl: No, No I don't have to use a computer.

Office People: Wok, Wokka, wa-wakka Wokkkk...?!

Freakgirl: No, no I don't tell all my clients I play Dungeons and Dragons

I almost got kicked out of
Medieval Times
two years ago
for being too rowdy
with Mr. Goudey.
Those Were
Good Times.
Good Times.

Dreamt of going to fly a kite

Rules on Courting

Don’t get freaky if you dig me
Life is too short, let’s put it to use
Hop a train to Montreal
And dine lusty on the streets, stand outside the Chelsea and howl
Drunk on bourbon, each other,
sleepless, bookshop talk.
We’ll hit the rep & see a bent old roguish film
Projecting words & hands upon one another
Settle down into art-house frowns
Laughing constant, you and I and you
Pool quarters together in a decrepit old bar
Share a glass of fine scotch whiskey… let it slow burn, down
We’ll meet bums, or prophets or chumps
At a jukebox, or bus station, or Banff
Shaking hands for real

Tell me what you really, really want
I’ll do the same for you
Espresso, gingersnaps, blood oranges for lunch
Dessert on books, or bed, or Bach,
Whatever we do chose
Read out-loud poetry in the bath, across our bodies
Into the world (We’ll leave the crossword to soak)
Listen to a diatribe of words without talking
Speak of love only if we will show it more

And when you tell me the worst damn story of your life
You’d better start laughing, cause I’m going to laugh too
Reach out to touch often, and open, and smiling
Bring hours of silence - phone whenever you want
Let’s never seek to define us, do not fit into any box
But see me catch myself singing your name in my head
Or for crying out loud

We go rock hunting down the beach, or maybe along some road
Kicking up dust and memories and seashells or love-notes
Lying down in a ravine, we are well-versed winos, writing summer odes
Take me to see the craziest band that you know, or to go watch comets fly
Large exhibitions of abstract artistry, and maybe the Tempest too
We can trek out to the great sea of sky and glimpse the stars in tow

Get tangled up on a couch, all yogically sideways and bent
And kiss and talk and eat until we sleep, exhausted
Let’s not do what we don’t want to do
Or lie to me or to you
And if you dig me
If you dig me
Don’t get freaky


The above is something inspired by the cool Canadian poet Vancy Kesper.
My Mom got me a signed copy of her poetry when I was 18.
They hung out. Kesper signed the book, " To another poet, look forward to seeing your work soon."
That was pretty nice. I was 18, I was surprised my Mom told her I wanted to be a writer. Cool.
Kesper wrote the original "Rules for Courting" which I thought were very interesting, obviously.


I rediscovered this copy last week after not seeing it for three years.
I have edited it a lot since my original written at oh, 18 years of age.

The main reason I wanted to blog was to start writing again. Even if it isn't so creative all the time (that would get boring!).
I took a very long and uncharacteristic break from writing, realized that I felt lonely without it.
A lot of what I write can be characterized as "Crud'
(if we want to get artsy here).
I think we all have a lot of Crud inside of us - the sooner we get it out the better.
Then we can get on to the good stuff.

...this blog is where I'll put the Crud!
Maybe even a little good stuff too.
Stranger things have happened.


Listening to: kruder & dorfmeister..for the first time.
Got a Date With: Tim Findley

No offense to all my Madonna loving friends.
(of which I have - 2?)

The chicks downstairs are cranking Madonna's "Holiday."
I am at work, they are at work. It is Tuesday after 5 pm.
I am not hangin with my Madonna fan friend PrincessPixiePants.
I am not hammered in some club type place.
Then I can deal with it.
Why? Why so loud Madonna?
She's not all bad, I say nicely.
NO --NO----LUCKY STAR.....dammit, they're going to play it all!
"Shine your heavenly body tonight"
Okey Dokey.

Have NEVER flown a kite

"We all know there are no accidents."

That was said in my very best Carl Jung voice (which I don't really have a very best of ).
I was trolling into my blog today and hit some Mad Scientist guy's blog by mistake. I had just been thinking about Asimov's opinion's on society and technology. Then I was thinking about what a great man he was/forever will be. Then I got on musing about this lecture he gave in 1973. There were a lot of witty and deep things touched upon in the lecture. Then I was thinking about exactly what the Mad Scientist guy was blogging. Synchronicity.

Yes, I am a fan of Asimov. Trivia I never knew: he is the only author to have a title in every section of the dewey decimal system.
As the daughter of a librarian, I can assure you this is no small feat.

So without further ado.....

"I was asked a few days ago...really was, I'm not making this up...whether I didn't think an intellectual elite ought to run the world. And I said, by an intellectual elite, you mean people like me? Because I didn't know what he meant by an intellectual elite. I thought maybe it might mean people like him, in which case no!

And he said: "Yes, people like you." And I said no, that would be no good because I'm only smart in certain ways, and very stupid in other ways. And if everybody was like me, and we were running the world, we'd all be smart in the same way, and all be stupid in the same way, and it's the stupidness that's going to kill us. I said, what we need are people of all kinds running the world! Some of whom are smart in one way, and some of whom are smart in the other way, and with everyone's smartness in different directions, so that they can sort of cancel out; so that everybody's stupidity can be caught by someone else's smartness in the same direction.


In the same way, that's what we want. The greatest...the greatest gift that mankind has is it's vast gene pool. All the different genes it has. All the different characteristics; the smart and the stupid, the strong and the weak. Because it's the variety that makes it possible for us to meet different emergencies, and what is weak under one set of conditions might be strong under another, what is stupid at one time is smart at another, and so on. We can't throw out anything for fear that that's exactly what we'll need someday.


The way I like to put it is, naturally we all think it's much better to be a brilliant nuclear physicist, than to just be a plumber. But, who would you rather live next door to, brilliant nuclear physicist or a plumber? And unless you're married to one, think: how often would you wake up in the middle of the night badly needing a nuclear physicist?"

Isaac Asimov


Listening to: (master of little ditties) Satie, La Belle Excentrique
Reading: Timothy Findley, FAMOUS LAST WORDS
Wearing: Clothing.
Feelings: Have them, they are good

It infuruiates me to be wrong when I know I'm right

- Moliere

Sunday Night
Is All Right...

Listening to: Golden Smog (Not tired of it yet!)
Playing: Dungeon Seige
Calling: My Mom

I am squeezing energy into enjoying the rest of tonight, being goofy.
Who Loves going to work Monday am?

I love what I do. Don't like where I'm doing it I guess.
It isn't evil, so I figure I can rough it out for a bit.
I have heard that there are a ton of people who go through large portions of their lives not liking what they do for a living.
It's ok for me to Not be one of those people.
I believe one must 'take the wheat with the chaff' though - or whatever my demeted farm ancestors used to say.

I'm DYING to play hooky!
Bugger off and go to Greece or Oregon or even my Mom's backyard.
I am not certain that I am designed for nine to five thirty life.

In my secret life I write novels. I live in a converted farmhouse in Wales. I walk around in those crazy black rainboots with eraser red bottoms. "Wellies" I know all my neighbours, have them for tea and homemade biscuits. I knit fabulous large charcoal, black, or navy fisherman sweaters. Have a large garden. Not a care in the world beyond which protagonist will kiss which. I wear my hair up all the time and carry single malt scotch in my knapsack. I have a lot of books. I run amok in my yard after too much port on occassion. My neighbours are a lot like the folk from the show "Hamish MacBeth." I do fit right in.

That's my Secret Life, it's horridly jealous of my Real Life.

When I was a kid, I thought that wheat fields were actually pasta growing...spagettini specifically.

Snogalicious

Friends just got...
Engaged in Bermuda.
Drank three bottles of good
champagne last night to make sure.

DJ Icey's The Push (plump Remix)
is playing in the background for you.

Congratulations to you.
May you raise a fine funky
new generation of
innoucous seeming freaks.

Love and giggles

"I don't condone the liquefaction of pixies" - Kilgore Trout

Pixies!
A number of years ago I boldly decided to undergo the wee tickly itchy torture of being tattooed on my right arm.
Yeah, right where my dads' declare such laudable markings as: sailor's grave (my step father), or HMCS Blankety Blank (my father).
I didn't realize when I decided to get the tattoo there that it was the same place my dad's are tattooed. I
simply thought it was the exact right place for my tattoo.
This is where I realize the above MAY read like I was raised together by two men.
That's funny.
My dad's are both hetero. My mom and paternal father split up when I was five.
My mom met my step father when I was twelve. I am lucky to have two fathers.

Back to the tattoo I'd been deliberating for years... what to put on my body and where.
One day it just popped into my head and I went down to Stainless and got it done.
It's a greenish blue star. It says PIXIE.
That is what I finally decided I wanted to have on my body for the rest of my life.
Darn Tootin!
If I ever find myself being sad in general, geriatric minded or curmudgeony
- I have my pixie patch to remind me.

And now for something completely different.
I have been sick for a week now. Initially the thought was that I had food poisoning.
I was probably wrong - or does food poisoning last for a week?
Whatever.
I'm hungry for real food! I am fed up with (yes, that was a pun)
feeling weak and eating soup.
No really. I have been acid gut for far too long
(yeah...then I got sick).

While I'm at it, who said that Orgasms were "the little death?"
Obviously they haven't had the trots for a week running (yes, another pun).
No kidding.
I think I blew my pranic pipeline and saw the light at least twelve times this week.
Also worth mentioning, this seems to be the true way to unleash kundalini.

as a side bar
Orgasms are not "le petit mort' to me
but rather a quickening, bringing
energetic evolution.
fuck*ng hippy

I won't complain about losing weight.
I will complain about not feeling well.
I'm still annoyingly perky.

To my friend Kym,
Missy Elliot's new tune keeps jumpin into my head since we were out last friday.
That's eight days.
"is it worth it, let me work it, put your thing down,
flip it and reverse it"
Sassy stuff.
I don't know if I'm big enough to ride that ride.

Tonight. Missing no less than five Very Special Events. Three birthday parties, a hen fest, and a get together.
Here I am two turn tables and a microphone.

LISTENING TO
G. Love and the Special Sauce - Philadelphonic (you should love them if ya don't)
The Pixies - yeah, all of it
Wilco - all mixed up
Hawkwind - In The Beginning
Perry Ferell - Rev
The Waterboys - Fisherman's Blues (possibly my favourite album of all time)

Do hypochondriacs freak when they smell toast and prepare to convulse?
I just smelled toast and was wondering.

I made a foraging pilgrimage.
Ginger ale. Pomegranate.
The Importance of Being Ernest. Colin Firth -pretend boyfriend.
Dancer in the Dark.
I finally feel like I have tissue enough in the house to support watching Bjork being sad.
As for Ernest...Wilde. Yay.

I'm lucky to have Video 99 - dry cleaners -convenience store -tv repair shop right at the end of our street. The owners live in a room boxed off from the rest of the place. Sitting on an goldmine of 80's & 90's vhs flicks collecting dust. Yummy. Classics? Big Trouble in Little China, that Stuck-In-A-Mall movie with Frank Whaley and Jennifer Conelly, Basic Instinct. Mallrats. The Prophecy series (who wouldn't love Walken as a down-and-out Gabriel? Delicious creepy). I Love You to Death ( Tracy Ullman, Kevin Klein, Joan Plowright, Keanu Reeves, RIVER Phoenix, and William Hurt). I have made some fantastic discoveries, and haven't even cased the whole joint yet.
I can't. I start sneezing and have to leave the store.

The video 99 crazy owner told me I looked like "french schoolgirl today with little girl hair and nice hat."
Ew.
My eyes fell to "Lolita."
Jeremy Irons has given me the Bu-Ju-Heevies since "Damage."

The crazy man asked if I wanted "Crossroads." Fuck no.
He says " Ok , I know you, you watch a lotta movies. Here, for you,look...ENOUGH."
No Dude. No Britney, no J-Lo.
I realize the video 99 guy just wants me to be happy.
I stop the full on, fall-out-of-me-brain-right-in-his-face rant I am about to diasporize unmercifully.
He will not understand. If someone I love, care for, or respect wants me to see friggin "Crossroads" with them,
Ok, I'll do it for love. If it's for work, Ok. Otherwise, blow me.

How great it is to have three convenience/market type stores and a video place three minutes away from my house?
Excellent.
Convenience scores a 9 on the scorecard titled: Happiness Living in Toronto.
Pollution for sure Sha-Zams!! Convenience right into the rhubarb however,
taking just about everything but Diversity, Employment and Friends with it.

It's all good though.

Toronto is also against the liquefaction of pixies, so I think I'll be safe.

Spewing on and on.....
Peace

About Me
My name is Joan Wyatt. I live in the Toronto with my husband, Cap (aka Paco).

I own a business called The Faery's Tub. I make yummy natural products that make people feel good, like sassy soaps and fun bath bombs. I am studying to obtain my Holistic Health Practitioner certification.

My blog isn't a lifestyle ad. I am re-thinking the blog title, it comes form a former life and career where coworkers used to introduce me as "Freak Girl."

I am into plants, herbs and potions.

I love words. I love people, but do not often suffer fools gladly. I read a lot. I dig Monty Python, myths, The Beatles on drugs, and people who say things like "please" and "thank you." I don't squish bugs or kill things... Not on purpose anyway.

I'd like the world to change into a kinder and wiser place. Mean people really do suck. I think the human race is too immature to deal with its technological advances. I am into the Gaia theory.

I love to feed people. You are what you eat.

I love having the freedom to think whatever I want.

I love traveling.

I am not afraid to make an ass of myself, especially if I'm doing the right thing.

Favourite thing: a good breeze
Have One: Random seeming brain
Need One: best friend with internet access Whoa – Someone got connected!
Miss One: Kitty named Harpo
What I Miss: Hearing, "Veggie Burrito, Only a Dollar!"
Proudest Moment: discovery of pockets
Appearance: foggy

Saturday mornings anyone?

One of the things that I don't like about having to get to work by nine am is having to rush my butt out of the door.
No time to enjoy my wakening, my most cherished time of day. I love waking up!
My Mom used to call me sunshine when I was a wee gaffer.
I don't love it as much when I have to jump up and do stuff so I can go to work.
I like to wake up slow and grinning, yum.
I sleep-in Saturdays if I feel like it.
I like to get up and do whatever the hell I want to do. No rushing, no hurry, no worry.

I usually carry the comfy feeling of being warm and sleepy in my bed around for a good while.
I also love how it feels to wash my face in the morning...so am sometimes torn between sleepy wakingness and fresh crisp energetism.
Springy bouncy happy!
Ah...when do I let go of the comfy bed feeling of slow wakefulness and commit to the showery effervescence of cleanliness?
Life is tough.

I like to put on the coffee and then hang out in my backyard while my cat shows off for me. Po Po running up trees and chasing leaves. I smell the day - breathe it in, like it will cleanse the work week from me. I have little wind chimes in the backyard that aren't the least bit annoying (imagine that). My best friend bought them for me. She lives in a galaxy far, far away.

A good thing about the weather being freakish is that I got to hang out in my yard this morning in my pj's and sweater without shaking and shivering.
The yard...pear tree, apricot, grape vines, cherry tree, raspberry bushes...all going winter. The pear tree still has leaves clinging. Stubborn buggers. Last week all the leaves in my yard lost the last of their juiciness and took on the dead tinge of grey. Detritus. A cheeky shock of pink mums draws my eye. Do pink things ever relent?

When the coffee is ready I feel even more joy.
Then I usually do whatever the hell I like. For hours and hours.
Yay...saturday.
I'm off to clean things.
Why?
Because I don't Have to!

(ears full of)
Sometimes I get so hungry
I think about pie all day
Just a little whipped cream
And honey I'm on my way

I am Not Incarcerated
(in case you were wondering)

Speaking of incarceration, Bars.
I have worked in a lot of bars.
I worked with an excellent chick at one particular bar.
She was Heather McVag
I was Phyllis McCrotchin (ors omething)
We were vulgar hussies.

We played sick games to amuse ourselves.
There is a gun to your head.
You must shag someone in the room. It can't be yourself.
It can't be the person posing this perplexing question.

We had a lot of fun with that game.
Unfortunately I can't play the "death or shag" game at my present job.
It just wouldn't be right.

I wish that I still worked with McVag, we always manged to have a wicked good time.
She was especially good at drawing caricatures.
I still have one that she drew of an ex boyfriend, complete with meat hooks for hands.
We broke up because I found out he was dating someone else.
Nice. I really wouldn't have minded if he had just told me he'd met someone else.
The Liar Guy came into the bar McVag and I worked in like nothing had happened after I told him I didn't want to be friends.

I was 22 or so at the time.
Whenever I had to wait on him, I pretended that I'd never met him or seen him in my life.
"Hi. What Would you Like to Drink?"
Yes. This IS my ass walking away from you.

Then I'd go to the bar to get his order and McVag would flash her lovely smile and a caricature.
Meathooks dripping. Mean, yet funny and somehow fair.
As for Captain Meathooks...to his credit,
I'll say that he was a lot older than me and he really
liked the woman he cheated on me for.
He's still a jackass.
It was the lying.

This friendship with McVag further introduced me into the "Sisterhood."
I thought my best friend was the only other person I'd have that connection with.
I have been pleasantly corrected.
I can now stand comfortably in the company of other females without getting hives.